meet me or not, i'm out of control
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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