My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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