garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm eating all of the evidence.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
