it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
