dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
