it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize