it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
well you can't waste a boner
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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