Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize