I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
