Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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