Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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