i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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