hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
