i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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