i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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