i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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