I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
