I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
