Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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