good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
