there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
