Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is it because I queefed?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize