Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
