I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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