fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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