Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
