On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
