Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
