Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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