in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
