Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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