if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
