his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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