We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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