dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
