dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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