I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i think i just lost a toe
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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