Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
