bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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