That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
