It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
