OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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