sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize