did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
