I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize