party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
