just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
not ubering you a puppy
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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