Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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