Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
