That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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