one might say we're banned from that church
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
vagina is talking i cant
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
