Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
