take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
