i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize