I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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