He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
