You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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