Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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