Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  im about as happy as oj after his trial

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  (718): im about as happy as oj after his trial http://tfl.nu/g9i1
  Replies (20) Good night (2496) Bad night (563)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.

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  (410): we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us. http://tfl.nu/tnpc
  Replies (26) Good night (7971) Bad night (609)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I think college has really matured you.

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  (901): Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front. (662): I think college has really matured you. http://tfl.nu/th4l
  Replies (19) Good night (4452) Bad night (567)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

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  (732): obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong. http://tfl.nu/4d0b
  Replies (19) Good night (920) Bad night (6339)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.

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  (203): The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man. http://tfl.nu/yftr
  Replies (5) Good night (3499) Bad night (1232)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.

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  (920): when life gives you lemons, puke and rally. http://tfl.nu/b13b
  Replies (19) Good night (2796) Bad night (984)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.

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  (856): You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/7ekl
  Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (1660)
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  (415): View more from California

  I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.

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  (415): I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW. http://tfl.nu/hy3p
  Replies (6) Good night (2341) Bad night (947)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.

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  (850): It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order. http://tfl.nu/7w8i
  Replies (4) Good night (2056) Bad night (521)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms

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  (440): i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms http://tfl.nu/a43l
  Replies (4) Good night (610) Bad night (822)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  ur mom makes the best bacon

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE

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  (570): ur mom makes the best bacon (1-570): WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE http://tfl.nu/0ryx
  Replies (14) Good night (3650) Bad night (555)
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  (831): View more from California

  I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.

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  (831): I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible. http://tfl.nu/g067
  Replies (5) Good night (843) Bad night (506)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.

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  (772): I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty. http://tfl.nu/zh78
  Replies (3) Good night (766) Bad night (224)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?

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  (207): You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet? http://tfl.nu/ukgu
  Replies (5) Good night (843) Bad night (269)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.

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  (804): for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner. http://tfl.nu/3gkb
  Replies (0) Good night (150) Bad night (391)

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