my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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