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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville

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• (818): View more from California

  Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...

  (714): View more from California

  Didn't you just get a DUI last week?

  (818): View more from California

  Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (850): View more from Florida

  So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life

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• (858): View more from California

  He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him

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• (310): View more from California

  What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.

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