party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
